May is Mental Health Awareness Month—a valuable opportunity to highlight the importance of emotional well-being, especially during stressful life transitions such as divorce. Divorce can significantly impact mental well being, often increasing stress, anxiety, and conflict. However, there are practical, court-supported strategies available to reduce toxicity and help make the divorce process less damaging for everyone involved.
Setting clear boundaries and structured communication can dramatically lower stress and prevent conflicts during divorce. Emphasizing importance of emotional well being, courts frequently recommend indirect communication methods such as email or text messaging, especially when direct conversation tends to escalate tensions.
In J.A.M. v. S.S.S.M., the court explicitly ordered parties to communicate primarily via text messages or emails, except in emergencies (J.A.M. v. S.S.S.M., 2010 B.C.J. No. 2552). Similarly, in Martin v. Mates, a separate email account dedicated solely to communication with the ex-spouse helped considerably reduce emotional stress (Martin v. Mates, 2019 B.C.J. No. 593).
Clearly defined boundaries can help ensure interactions remain civil and manageable.
Children often bear the brunt of divorce-related conflicts, with significant implications for their mental health and well being. Courts have continually emphasized the necessity of insulating children from adult disputes. Parents should actively avoid discussing their conflicts or criticizing the other parent in front of their children.
In L.G. v. R.G., courts highlighted the profound emotional harm caused to children exposed to ongoing parental conflict (L.G. v. R.G., 2012 B.C.J. No. 1915). Similarly, in Fortier v. Fortier, the court underscored the importance of prioritizing children’s best interests and minimizing any negative impact of divorce on them (Fortier v. Fortier, 2020 S.J. No. 363).
A particularly effective tool courts frequently endorse is the BIFF method—communication that is Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. This approach significantly reduces hostility and misunderstanding. It encourages keeping messages concise (Brief), focusing on necessary facts without unnecessary details (Informative), maintaining a polite and respectful tone (Friendly), and clearly stating intentions without aggression (Firm).
Multiple cases highlight the effectiveness of the BIFF method. In Grundy v. Dickie, the court specifically ordered parties to communicate using the BIFF method to maintain civility and constructive interactions (Grundy v. Dickie, 2022 O.J. No. 3150).
Another highly recommended approach is mediation. Even if mediation does not resolve all disputes, it creates a neutral and structured environment to manage disagreements constructively and amicably, significantly reducing hostility.
In Di Felice v. Di Felice, courts recognized mediation as a vital tool to mitigate conflict and support emotional health during divorce proceedings (Di Felice v. Di Felice, 2021 O.J. No. 4051).
This Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s acknowledge the importance of prioritizing emotional well-being for ourselves and our families during life’s toughest transitions.
